This Year Resolve to consider "Reframing" Your Approach to Negotiation

We often lose sight of how our values and beliefs can impact our approach to negotiation and mediation. Albert Einstein once asked each of us to consider “the first and most basic question all people must answer for themselves…is the universe a friendly place”. I’d ask you to consider whether your answer to Einstein’s question colours your approach to negotiation. That is, if you view the universe as inherently hostile, do you approach your negotiations and mediations from this vantage point? Indeed, if you answered “yes” to Einstein’s question, you may want to resolve to “reframe” your approach to negotiation in 2019.

 In his book “Getting to Yes with Yourself”, William Ury notes that in every challenging negotiation we have a choice, “do we approach the negotiation as an adversarial contest in which one party wins and the other loses? Or do we approach it as an opportunity for collaborative problem solving in which both sides can benefit?” Now I’m not suggesting you change your personal beliefs, rather I merely suggest that if you are one of those who view the universe as a pretty dark place, then consider reframing you reference point when you enter a negotiation from one of adversarial confrontation to one of collaborative discussion. As Ury states, “the ability to reframe the external situation comes from an ability to reframe our internal picture of life”. Thus, in any negotiation one should never lose sight of how their personal beliefs can potentially impact their chances of achieving resolution.

 One of the finest literary examples I’ve come across of the consequences taking a hostile view of the universe to negotiation is in Liu Cixin’s Remembrance of Earth’s Past trilogy which I would recommend for any lovers of science fiction. [spoiler alert] In Cixin’s second book, “The Dark Forest”, he posits a theory as to why, despite the vastness of space, humans in his fictional universe have not heard from any alien species. The Dark Forest Theory essentially states that the “universe is a dark forest. Every civilization is an armed hunter stalking through the trees like a ghost gently pushing aside branches that block the path and trying to tread without sound. Even breathing is done with care. The hunter has to be careful because everywhere in the forest are stealthy hunters like him. If he finds another life – another hunter, angel, or a demon, a delicate infant to tottering old man, a fairy or demigod – there’s only one thing he can do: open fire and eliminate them.” The result of this universal theory in the novel is that because there is no way to know if other lifeforms can or will destroy you if given a chance, contact of any kind with another species is inherently dangerous and if contact is achieved the result is one species attempting to annihilate the other so as to avoid destruction themselves. 

 In Cixin’s Dark Forest, the answer to Einstein’s seminal question is a resounding “yes”, the universe is hostile. The result is non-communication or destruction amongst species. As negotiators what we can take away from Cixin’s book, and Einstein’s seminal question, is that a hostile approach to negotiation almost always gives rise to a barrier in communication between parties. Furthermore, if both parties take this approach the result is usually a breakdown in the negotiation. In 2019, I’d ask you to consider your answer to Einstein’s question and whether that answer colours your negotiation tactics and strategy. If you answered “yes” to Einstein’s question or consider the universe a “dark forest”, perhaps consider reframing your strategy as Ury suggests. 

I hope you take away from this brief blog post that personal values and beliefs matter in any negotiation and as negotiators we should always be cognizant of them. On a personal note, I would like to wish everyone a happy and healthy New Year and I look forward to working with you in the coming months.